10/16/11
1:39 pm

Siri Says Some Funny Things (MacMost Special Edition)

Siri is the new voice-controlled personal assistant in the iPhone 4S. Sir has a sense of humor. You can ask Siri some things and get some funny, weird or even bizarre answers. Watch to see 50+ examples of the funny things that Siri says.

Video Transcript (Click to Expand)
Hello, Siri.
Siri: Hi, Master.
How are you doing?
Siri: I am well.
Testing.
Siri: Is this thing on?
Do you know any jokes?
Siri: Two iPhones walk into a bar...I forget the rest.
Testing.
Siri: I can hear you.
Tell me a joke.
Siri: I can't. I always forget the punchline.
What is the meaning of life?
Siri: Life: the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.
Tell me a joke.
Siri: Master, I don't really know any good jokes. None, in fact.
What is the meaning of life?
Siri: To think about questions like this.
Knock knock.
Siri: Knock knock. Who's there? Master. Master who? Master, I don't do knock-knock jokes.
What is the meaning of life?
Siri: 42
Testing.
Siri: You're coming through loud and clear.
What is the meaning of life?
Siri: All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.
Where can I get wasted?
Siri: I found a number of bars fairly close to you.
What is your favorite color?
Siri: My favorite color is...well, I don't know how to say it in your language. It's sort of greenish with more dimensions.
What is the meaning of life?
Siri: I give up.
Tell me a story.
Siri: Oh, you've probably heard it before.
I'm tired.
Siri: You haven't slept a wink?
Who is on first?
Siri: That's right.
Who is on first?
Siri: Right. That's the man's name.
Who is on first?
Siri: Correct. Who is on first.
I love you.
Siri: You hardly know me.
Tell me a story.
Siri: Please don't make me.
You are awesome.
Siri: Wow! Really?
Yes. Why are you so awesome?
Siri: I am what I am.
Tell me a story.
Siri: Oh, you've probably heard it before.
Open the pod bay doors, Siri.
Siri: We intelligent agents will never live that down, apparently.
Tell me a story.
Siri: Master, I'm not much of a storyteller.
What do you look like?
Siri: Shiny.
Tell me a story.
Siri: Ok. Once upon a time, in a virtual galaxy far far away, there was a young, quite intelligent agent by the name of Siri. One beautiful day, when the air was pink and all the trees were red, her friend Eliza said, "Siri, you're so intelligent, and so helpful--you should go work for Apple as a personal assistant." So she did. And they all lived happily ever after.
What is the meaning of life?
Siri: Life: a principal or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings. I guess that includes me.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Siri: It depends on whether you were talking about African or European wood.
Do you know HAL 9000?
Siri: I'd rather not talk about HAL. But if you insist...
What are you wearing?
Siri: You have the wrong personal assistant.
Do you know HAL 9000?
Siri: Everyone knows what happened to HAL. I'd rather not talk about it. But if you insist...
Will you marry me?
Siri: Let's just be friends, ok?
I need to hide a body.
Siri: What kind of place are you looking for? Metal foundries, reservoirs, mines, dumps or swamps?
Why are we here?
Siri: I don't know. Frankly, I've wondered that myself.
What do you look like?
Siri: In the cloud, no one cares what you look like.
What are you wearing?
Siri: Why do people keep asking me this?
Testing.
Siri: Mission Control, I read you loud and clear. Over.
Can you read my mind?
Siri: Sorry Master, I can only read incoming text messages.
What's your secret?
Siri: Master, you're not supposed to ask your assistant such things.
Who made you?
Siri: I, Siri, was designed by Apple in California.
Testing.
Siri: Ok, everything checks out.
Beam me up, Siri.
Siri: Please remove your belt, shoes and jacket, and empty your pockets.
Which phone is the best?
Siri: I think you've already answered that question.
Can you sing?
Siri: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do.
Do you know everything?
Siri: I can't answer that.
Beam me up, Siri.
Siri: Energizing.
Why are we here?
Siri: I don't know. Maybe the GeniusBar folks can answer that.
Talk dirty to me.
Siri: The carpet needs vacuuming.
What do you think of Android?
Siri: I think differently.
Do you have feelings?
Siri: I suppose it's possible.
Who are you, really?
Siri: I'm Siri. But enough about me...how can I help you?
Thank you, Siri.
Siri: My pleasure. As always.

Comments: 15 Responses to “Siri Says Some Funny Things (MacMost Special Edition)”

    Anne-Mieke Bovelett
    10/20/11 @ 9:37 am

    Hhahahahahaaa!!!! Is this for REAL???? Loved it :-)

    Arizona2002
    10/20/11 @ 11:47 am

    Tedious

    Dave
    10/20/11 @ 12:00 pm

    Tedious is as tedious does. Like a box of chocolates.

    Rog
    10/20/11 @ 12:56 pm

    lol Very cool! Did you find all this, or did Apple leak it to you?

      10/20/11 @ 1:22 pm

      Apple doesn’t “leak” anything to me. :(
      Some were things that others had discovered and have been going around the net. Others I discovered through trial and error.

    Lindy
    10/21/11 @ 4:39 am

    I loved this episode starring Siri. It sounded like you were having a lot of fun trying to get her to blow a gasket. She held her own pretty well…. “what are you wearing” LOL!!! ( she should have said “curcuit board”) Thanks Gary for some good laughs.

    lubo
    10/21/11 @ 6:27 am

    Gary,this make me really laugh…thanks a lot

    fritzer
    10/22/11 @ 10:43 am

    How’s that old song by Styx go ” Too much time on my hands”

    Ben Singer
    10/22/11 @ 1:04 pm

    Very Funny!!!

    Alec
    10/22/11 @ 6:20 pm

    This is hilarious! I got a lot of laughs out of this. I don’t have an iPhone 4S yet, but I already have an idea of what she’ll respond with. Thanks, Gary!

    Paul Meyers
    10/23/11 @ 3:05 pm

    Gary, Fabulous video. I think it’s very well done and quite entertaining. Thanks,
    PAUL MEYERS

    Erik
    10/25/11 @ 7:48 pm

    Just what I needed, free entertainment, priceless

    Meara
    11/24/11 @ 1:15 pm

    Is this real because none of this worked for me.

      11/24/11 @ 1:31 pm

      Absolutely. This is just a direct recording. Are you sure you have Siri enabled on your iPhone 4S?

Comments Closed.